This marks my 60th poem. Once again it centers on the depressing topic of that wide gap between what I feel I SHOULD BE doing vs. what I AM doing. That topic is becoming a broken record. I decided to alternate between depressing and funny topics in my poetry going forward. Perhaps my next poem will be about an amusing bodily function or something.
Shame
Inspired by giving in to bad habits and not doing enough to improve my situation
Although I do know better
I just roll over and cave
Each time I find temptation
In seductions that I crave.
Instead of choosing wisely,
I choose poorly every time.
Descending to this valley
Out of which I must now climb.
It’s less work, in the moment,
To give in to what I want.
No struggle to deprive me
Of the prize the moment brought.
So I ignore my conscience,
And I give in to the urge,
Then drown in shameful thoughts
From which I struggle to emerge.
I curse myself for failing,
And berate myself with shame.
There’s nowhere else to place it.
At my feet, I lay the blame.
But that leads to inaction
As I wallow in self-guilt,
Instead of starting work on what
I’d like to get rebuilt.
I can’t change what’s behind me,
Only what lies up ahead.
So it’s time that I take the reigns,
And put my shame to bed.